Knowing What We Want

At some point in our life I am sure we have all played the game of 'Chinese Whispers' (also called 'Telephone'). Today's Gospel reading reminded me of that party game because at the end of July, when we celebrated the Feast of James and John – two key the disciples of Jesus – we had a similar Gospel reading but from the Gospel of Matthew'– however, it differed from Mark's version in several significant ways:

In Mark's version James and John approach Jesus and demand that he did whatever they asked of him. And Jesus kindly responds with a very practical question: “What is it you want me to do for you?”They asking for a place to be reserved for them in heaven so they might “sit each side on him in his Kingdom”. A bold and self-centred request one might say!

However, when Matthew wrote his account of James and John's request some 25 years later, he tells us that it was their mother who came to Jesus and she knelt before him and made a similar request for her two sons (Matthew 20:20-28). In both cases, Jesus initial response is similar. Would you say such a 'bold' self -centred request was out of order​?

Perhaps it was – perhaps it wasn't. Be that as it may, what attracted my attention was the wording of the questions Jesus asked of the disciples or of their mother because both are good questions for us to ponder as well. How would we answer that question: “What is it you want me to do for you?” What do we want for ourselves – for our family – for our Church – for our country, or our world, or for our cosmos for that matter, because they are all part of God's domain? It is a very easy question to ask – but it not always a simple question to answer.

For example: When I was studying for my degree at University, I spent a year with the Vocational Guidance Service. In those days it was part of the Government's Education Department. I recall an occasion early in my orientation week when I was invited to observe the standard way the Department would interview a budding school leaver. After the young man's personal and educational particulars had been noted, the conversation turned to his thoughts of a possible career. The budding school leaver had no idea of what he wanted to do – except leave school! In the end, with no progress being made, he was given a handful of career leaflets and invited to return when he was ready to discuss some options.

In reality, the young student's dilemma is understandable because it is not always easy to know what we really want – for ourselves, for those closest and dearest to us, or for our church community or country for that matter, because we live in an increasingly secular age with high expectations of independence. Yet the question remains: What is it that I want? What do I long for deep inside? Is it always up to me to decide? Or is there an existential answer that would change the whole orientation of my life?

We may be able to list some universal wishes, such as the abolition of war, poverty or sickness – and all those things are both important and universal needs according to the American Psychologist, Abraham Maslow, who created a common basic physical hierarchy of needs, that include such common needs such as food, clothing, housing, safety, a sense of love and belonging, respect and recognition, self confidence, independence and freedom¹. However, is that all you really want out of life? It's not really enough, is it. And Maslow would agree with you because he went on to identify other basic needs, that included:

'Cognitive needs' (such as creativity, foresight, curiosity; or our basic)

'Aesthtic needs' (such as appreciation of beauty and nature; or the opportunity to realise our full potential).

Later he included our basic human need for Transcendence which enables us to open and give ourselves to something beyond ourself as we are enabled to put our “own needs aside, to a great extent, in favor of service to others and to some higher force or cause conceived as being outside the personal self”.¹

Certainly, Maslow's list invites us to pause and consider what is it – deep down – that we really want and long for during our life here on planet earth?

We are not alone in pondering this question, because it is the same question that is asked a number of times in the Gospels, and one that Jesus asks of us in this week's Gospel reading. It's also an important question, because knowing what we want in life will influence the way we live and make our choices. It can also open the door to new possibilities, hopes and dreams.

So, then, how would you answer the question asked by Jesus: What do you want me to do for you? Or to re-frame the question, What do I expect God to do for me?

Do you believe or expect God to do anything for you?

Or are we responsible with our gifts and experiences to sort out a life for ourselves?

Let me close this blog with these words written by

 The Monks of New Skete: 

 

In the Spirit of Happiness

The God who sees into our depths,

who knows us as we really are,

isn't interested in some phoney fantasy

of what we think we are.

God is interested in us as we really are.

It's only when we try to own ourselves in our totality,

when we respond to life as it truly is,

that we can truly relate to God.

That's the work of spiritual journey.

Kia mau te rongo me te pai ki a koe i to haerenga

May you find peace and good will on your journey.

Phil

 

¹ Maslow's hierarchy of needs: https://

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/

Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs