Knowing What We Want

At some point in our life I am sure we have all played the game of 'Chinese Whispers' (also called 'Telephone'). Today's Gospel reading reminded me of that party game because at the end of July, when we celebrated the Feast of James and John – two key the disciples of Jesus – we had a similar Gospel reading but from the Gospel of Matthew'– however, it differed from Mark's version in several significant ways:

In Mark's version James and John approach Jesus and demand that he did whatever they asked of him. And Jesus kindly responds with a very practical question: “What is it you want me to do for you?”They asking for a place to be reserved for them in heaven so they might “sit each side on him in his Kingdom”. A bold and self-centred request one might say!

However, when Matthew wrote his account of James and John's request some 25 years later, he tells us that it was their mother who came to Jesus and she knelt before him and made a similar request for her two sons (Matthew 20:20-28). In both cases, Jesus initial response is similar. Would you say such a 'bold' self -centred request was out of order​?

Perhaps it was – perhaps it wasn't. Be that as it may, what attracted my attention was the wording of the questions Jesus asked of the disciples or of their mother because both are good questions for us to ponder as well. How would we answer that question: “What is it you want me to do for you?” What do we want for ourselves – for our family – for our Church – for our country, or our world, or for our cosmos for that matter, because they are all part of God's domain? It is a very easy question to ask – but it not always a simple question to answer.

For example: When I was studying for my degree at University, I spent a year with the Vocational Guidance Service. In those days it was part of the Government's Education Department. I recall an occasion early in my orientation week when I was invited to observe the standard way the Department would interview a budding school leaver. After the young man's personal and educational particulars had been noted, the conversation turned to his thoughts of a possible career. The budding school leaver had no idea of what he wanted to do – except leave school! In the end, with no progress being made, he was given a handful of career leaflets and invited to return when he was ready to discuss some options.

In reality, the young student's dilemma is understandable because it is not always easy to know what we really want – for ourselves, for those closest and dearest to us, or for our church community or country for that matter, because we live in an increasingly secular age with high expectations of independence. Yet the question remains: What is it that I want? What do I long for deep inside? Is it always up to me to decide? Or is there an existential answer that would change the whole orientation of my life?

We may be able to list some universal wishes, such as the abolition of war, poverty or sickness – and all those things are both important and universal needs according to the American Psychologist, Abraham Maslow, who created a common basic physical hierarchy of needs, that include such common needs such as food, clothing, housing, safety, a sense of love and belonging, respect and recognition, self confidence, independence and freedom¹. However, is that all you really want out of life? It's not really enough, is it. And Maslow would agree with you because he went on to identify other basic needs, that included:

'Cognitive needs' (such as creativity, foresight, curiosity; or our basic)

'Aesthtic needs' (such as appreciation of beauty and nature; or the opportunity to realise our full potential).

Later he included our basic human need for Transcendence which enables us to open and give ourselves to something beyond ourself as we are enabled to put our “own needs aside, to a great extent, in favor of service to others and to some higher force or cause conceived as being outside the personal self”.¹

Certainly, Maslow's list invites us to pause and consider what is it – deep down – that we really want and long for during our life here on planet earth?

We are not alone in pondering this question, because it is the same question that is asked a number of times in the Gospels, and one that Jesus asks of us in this week's Gospel reading. It's also an important question, because knowing what we want in life will influence the way we live and make our choices. It can also open the door to new possibilities, hopes and dreams.

So, then, how would you answer the question asked by Jesus: What do you want me to do for you? Or to re-frame the question, What do I expect God to do for me?

Do you believe or expect God to do anything for you?

Or are we responsible with our gifts and experiences to sort out a life for ourselves?

Let me close this blog with these words written by

 The Monks of New Skete: 

 

In the Spirit of Happiness

The God who sees into our depths,

who knows us as we really are,

isn't interested in some phoney fantasy

of what we think we are.

God is interested in us as we really are.

It's only when we try to own ourselves in our totality,

when we respond to life as it truly is,

that we can truly relate to God.

That's the work of spiritual journey.

Kia mau te rongo me te pai ki a koe i to haerenga

May you find peace and good will on your journey.

Phil

 

¹ Maslow's hierarchy of needs: https://

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/

Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs

 Living in Uncertain Times

We live in uncertain and troubled times. We see evidence of this in the ongoing unrest and increasing violence in the Middle East, for example, which also carries the risk of causing more people to flee from their homes as the war spreads, as other countries become involved.

At the same time, our world faces the impact of changing weather patterns, natural disasters, storms, fires, droughts and flooding. In the midst of all that is happening in our world, this weeks Gospel reading from Mark 10:17-31 raises the challenging question of 'Where (or on what) do we focus our attention in these changing times?' And the reason this question is important is because as Jesus states elsewhere: where our treasure is - there our heart will be also” ¹

Jesus raises this question in the context of a young man who approached him and wanted to know “What must I do to inherit Eternal Life?” Apparently he was very wealthy and had been trying to studiously keep all the religious rules and regulations that were expected of a good Jew. Yet it wasn't giving him any sense of fulfilment or purpose. To complicate matters even further, the Jewish authorities were inconsistent in their advice and teaching. For example:

According to the first century Jewish historian and military leader Flavius Josephus, there were 24 different Jewish sects in and around Jerusalem and they had a range of differing views. There were those who believed our physical body would rise again as mentioned in the prophet Isaiah 26:19: “Your dead will live, their bodies will rise.” While another group taught that we have two bodies. In this life we inhabit a physical body, and when we die we will continue to live in “disembodied bliss” in a spiritual body. Another group believed that the gift of life is passed through us into our children, or the gift of life is carried within their Jewish faith and society as God's chosen people. And so the young man's confusion, and the question he asked of Jesus was both real and understandable. However, Jesus didn't answer his question! Instead he redirected the man's attention back to the present moment, and he invited him to reflect on the way he was already living out his life, content with taking one day at a time.

I recently watched a lecture by Richard Rohr based on his book 'Falling Upward' ². He suggested that in life, we have two important tasks: The first is to create a sense of self as we explore the two questions “Who Am I?“ and“Who am I not ?” These are important questions because they apply to the way we form and ultimately live out our life. Yet whatever answer we may hold will inevitably be incomplete! Because it usually lacks depth. However, if we don't grow beyond this stage, we may spend the rest of our lives defending our chosen way of life –which brings us back to today's Gospel.

In the story of the Rich Young Man, Jesus tries to help his listeners (including us) to to reflect upon the way we also live our lives – because life is always more than simply a 'me – first' attitude. So Jesus took a familiar example from the local landscape.

When planing to build a new home, would you ever think of building it upon the shifting and unstable sand of the desert – or would you choose to follow the wisdom of those who are seasoned builders, and build it upon a sold rock base?

In telling this parable, Jesus encouraged the young man (and us) to realise that deciding to become one of his disciples, will never protect us from life's storms, nor from other trials we may encounter over the years. However, when we do experience these dark and painful moments – God will never abandon us. God promises he will always be with us through every step, and moment, of our life. When we choose to place our faith and trust in him, will will find a peace, and we will find the strength, and we will find the ability, to stand and not fall, because we have built our life upon the firm foundation of God's love for us. (See Deuteronomy 31:8.)

This divine promise doesn't mean we will not have our struggles, nor our heart aches and our hard choices, because growing up often involves leaving the familiar behind – and we have all experienced that process! When we are born for example, or when we began our schooling or employment. However, Jesus also never promised us that life would always be easy.

Carl Jung, who was one of the most influential psychologists in history, once wrote: “we will all experience suffering because it is a necessary part to being a human being”. He goes on to suggest that when suffering “is not understood that it becomes hard to bear, while on the other hand it is often astounding to see how much a person can endure when (they) understand the why and the wherefore.” ³

Of cause, as you may all ready know first-hand, we all experience our own painful moments. Some may have forced us to grow-up and in the process we begin to see life differently. Some of these moments may have challenged us to the core of our faith and our beliefs. Yet the call of Jesus in this gospel reading is for us to learn to hold things lightly and allow our faith not to guide us through these life experiences, because the God who created us doesn't call us to be ordinary, but to recognise and to know that we are created and held in his image and likeness.

Kia mau te rongo me te pai ki a koe i to haerenga

May you find peace and goodwill on your journey.

Phil

¹ Matthew 6:21

² Father Richard Rohr "Falling Upward Video”:

J1kXeklcmMIhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1kXeklcmMI

³ Carl Jung, CW 18, Para 1578: https://carljungdepthpsychologysite.blog/2020/02/12/suffering-7/