What do You Want? (Matt 20: 20-28)

The 25th of July is a day in the calendar of the Church when we remember two brothers, St. James and St. John. They were both disciples of Jesus and part of his innermost circle of followers. The Gospel of Matthew records their mother asking Jesus to give her boys places of special honour in the World to Come. In the Gospel of Mark, the two disciples make this request. The suggestion being that by the time Matthew wrote his Gospel 25 years after Mark, both men had become significant leaders of the early Church. James also had been the first disciple to be martyred for his faith.

The second observation is that both James and John were full cousins of Jesus and no doubt felt they deserved special recognition. Be that as it may. What also attracted my attention was the different responses Jesus made He asked the two disciples: What do you want me to do for you? To their mother, he asked: What is it that you want?  Both are good questions to ponder.

What do I want? Not always an easy question to answer. While at University, for example, I worked for the Vocational Guidance Service. In those days, it was part of the Governments Education Department. I recall an occasion during my orientation week when invited to sit in with the person to observe how to interview a budding school leaver. After taking down the particulars of the young man, the conversation turned to his thoughts of a possible career. He had no idea what he wanted to do – except to leave school! In the end, he took away a handful of potential career profiles. He could return when he was ready to discuss options.

Knowing what we want out of life, or from another person, or even from ourselves, influences the way we live and make our choices. Knowing what we want is important because it usually opens the door to new possibilities, hopes and dreams.

Then how would you answer the question asked by Jesus: What do you want me to do for you? Or to re-frame the question, What do I expect God to do for me? Do I believe in or expect God to do anything? Or are we responsible with our gifts and experience to sort out a life for ourselves?

We live in an increasingly secular age with high expectations of independence. Yet the question remains: What is it that I want? What do I long for deep inside? Is it always up to me to decide? Or is there an existential answer that would change the whole orientation of my life?

In the Gospel passages, Jesus turns the expectations of the woman and the disciples upside down. His teaching was entirely counter-intuitive: If we want to be great – become a servant. If we desire a place of honour – Take the lowest seat. If we long to know God, then we have to seek. However, God has already found us, so what we seek is already within us.

God's being is in my being.
Wherever I am, there is God.
Meister Eckhart (c1260-c1327)

Kia mau te rongo me te pai ki a koe i to haerenga

May you find peace and goodwill on your journey.

Phil