The Positive Side of Doubts (John6:35, 41-51)

I am sure we all suffer from doubts. Can I trust today's weather forecast? Will the Covid– 9 viruses change the way we live forever? Do I have enough faith – or courage – or the ability to handle the situation I face?

Doubts are real, especially when we get caught between two or more alternatives, and we don't know what we should do, or who to believe. Such doubts can be either negative or positive. They can stop us in our tracks, or they can motivate us to learn something new; to seek advice or to develop new skills or wisdom.

In the history of Christianity, the Church hasn't handled people's ability to doubt very well. Take the Apostle, Thomas, for example. He doubted Jesus' resurrection. He wasn't the only Christian to do that. And because it didn't seem possible, Thomas wanted physical proof. He wanted to see and touch and prove to himself that what the other disciples were saying was accurate and true. Today, you might say that he showed good critical thinking skills, or that he was a good scientist. He wanted to collect his own evidence and test that evidence. He wanted to see Jesus with his own eyes and to touch him with his own hands. Yet we find that rather than approving of Thomas methodology, such attitude was not, and has not been encouraged by the Church. In fact, it has often been regarded as a sin. That is until Pope Francis shocked the more conservative Catholics in 2015 when he announced that doubt was the key to the life of faith:

“We do not need to be afraid of questions and doubts
because they are the beginning of a path of knowledge and going deeper;
one who does not ask questions cannot progress either in knowledge or in faith.,” 1

There is wisdom for us all of us in Pope Francis' insight. The important thing is not to focus on our doubts and questions and uncertainties – rather, it is what we do with our doubts that is important. Do we use them as an excuse, or do we use them as an incentive to seek new answers? The Irish writer, lecturer, storyteller, and public speaker, Peter Rollins subtitled his book 'Insurrection' with the engaging maxim: "To Believe Is Human To Doubt, Divine". That is because an absolute faith leaves no room for the mystery of God to enter. Rather, as St Augustine once said, we are to ''seek God to find God; and to find God means we need to keep searching for God forever”.2

This week's Gospel reading is from the Gospel of John (6:35, 41-51). We hear how the Jewish gatekeepers were upset about the things Jesus was doing and saying. In their world, he had become a 'loose canon' (or' loose archer' would be a more historically accurate metaphor). His popularity among the 'uneducated classes' was rated higher than theirs. The crowds were following him and his teaching was increasingly subversive and hard to believe. Such an approach was not well received by the Jewish hierarchy because it threatened their power base and authority.

Yet to understand John's Gospel we need to appreciate that the author was a Jewish Mystic who drew heavily on Hebraic images and metaphors. All the language and images in John's Gospel are drawn from the Hebrew Scriptures, and the Gospel was written to provide readings to coincide with each Sabbath for the whole of the Jewish liturgical year.

For example, in the Gospel we encounter God who is the great “I AM” and as a result, each one of us can also affirm that we also share the life of the “I AM” – and hear the same song of the“I AM” echoing throughout the cosmos. In each moment, it is potentially possible for us to experience as Jesus did the mystical Oneness of God whose life and love form the foundation of all that exists, and for each one of us to encounter this mystery of eternity.

No wonder Jesus said to his listeners: "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty". And it is little wonder that his listeners – and maybe us too – doubted his authenticity until we taste that living bread for ourselves.

Kia mau te rongo me te pai ki a koe i to haerenga
May you find peace and goodwill on your journey.

Phil
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Spong, JS, The Fourth Gospel: Tales of a Jewish Mystic.HarperOne, 2014
Green, A, Seek My Face: A Jewish Mystical Theology, Jewish Lights, 2012
1“Pope Francis says doubt is key to life of faith' C Wooden Nov 23, 2016, Catholic News Service. https://cruxnow.com/vatican/2016/11/pope-francis-says-doubt-key-life-faith/
2https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2013/09/30/big-heart-open-god-interview-pope-francis

The High Cost of 'Me First' (John 6: 25-35)

 During the night, I listened to a radio interview on the increasing cost of food in NZ Supermarkets. A recent Government Report by the NZ Commerce Commission found that NZ shoppers were paying high prices by international standards while the Supermarkets were reaping high profits. The reason for this is partly due to lack of competition. All NZ Supermarkets are owned by two major distributors. This monopoly has a two-way effect. Consumers are paying more, and the growers are receiving less for their produce. According to the radio interview I heard during the night, growers are also charged for shelf space and for loss of their stock through theft. At the same time, an estimated 18,000 more children in poverty since the beginning of last year.

These statistics provided a backdrop to my reading of today's Gospel from John chapter 6 verses. 25-35 which continues the story of Jesus feeding 5,000 people with five loaves and two fish. Poverty was common and visible in the time of Jesus. It is estimated, 9 out of 10 people lived close to, or below, subsistence level. Unlike us in New Zealand, there was no State support or concern for the destitute. This was one reason why Jesus spoke so often about the poor. One sign of the Kingdom of God was people willing to feed the hungry; give water to the thirsty; welcome the stranger; clothe the naked; take care of the sick and visit those in prison – many of whom were incarcerated because they could not pay the levies and fines imposed on the poor(1). This was also one reason why Pope Francis commented that: 

“Poverty is at the heart of the Gospel. If we were to remove poverty from the Gospel, people would understand nothing about Jesus' message”.(2)

“It is also interesting to realize that when Jesus spoke of “blessed are the poor” he wasn't supporting material poverty, rather the hope that those who shared his vision of a Kingdom of God would help to create a world in which there was no material deprivation.(3)

It is this context that gives meaning to the Gospel story of Jesus feeding the 5000 people. He was providing a visual example for his followers to reflect upon and learn. If one person, through their faith and action, could make a difference to others – albeit as temporary as it was – what would the world be like if all people shared a similar vision? When we focus on our inadequacy or on the little resources we have, nothing will change; nothing much will happen. But when we, like the young lad who offered his small lunch of five loaves and two fish in hopeful anticipation, the God-factor steps in; “Give,” said Jesus, “and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down and shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap; for the measure you give will be the measure you get back”.(4)

The crowd whom Jesus fed, did not get this either. They migrated after him, understandably hoping for another free meal. The composer of John's Gospel takes this story and uses it as a teaching event. While physical food is essential for life, its effects are transient. Physical deprivation will continue until the Gospel vision of equality for all is shared by every person – by both the poor and the wealthy alike. This is the radical message of the Gospel Jesus came to live and teach.

This story from John's Gospel also leaves us with the question: 'For what do I hunger?' 

The 'Me First' attitude of our age cannot give lasting satisfaction. Nor will greed or inequality or oppression of those less fortunate than ourselves.

The meditation teacher, Sri Chinmoy, once said something that sounds very similar to the Gospel of Jesus:

“Let us love. Love is the inner bond, the inner connection, the inner link between us and God, between the finite and the infinite. True, this world of ours is full of hatred and disbelief, but that is no reason why we should not love and why we should not believe. Love is the inner bond, the inner connection, the inner link between us and God, between the finite and the infinite. By loving more and more one day we shall be able to solve all our problems.(5)

Kia mau te rongo me te pai ki a koe i to haerenga
May you find peace and goodwill on your journey.

Phil
_____________________
 

1 eg Matthew 18:21-35; Luke 18:1-8 

2Glatz, Carol, “Pope Francis: Concern for poor is a sign of Gospel, not a red flag of communism” Catholic News Service | Jun. 16, 2015 

3See Kairos Center: Jesus and Poverty: Preaching Power for the Poor People, https://kairoscenter.org/jesus-and-poverty-preaching-power-for-poor-people/ 

 

4 Luke 6:37-38 

5https://www.srichinmoyquotes.com/quotes-love/

What do You Want? (Matt 20: 20-28)

The 25th of July is a day in the calendar of the Church when we remember two brothers, St. James and St. John. They were both disciples of Jesus and part of his innermost circle of followers. The Gospel of Matthew records their mother asking Jesus to give her boys places of special honour in the World to Come. In the Gospel of Mark, the two disciples make this request. The suggestion being that by the time Matthew wrote his Gospel 25 years after Mark, both men had become significant leaders of the early Church. James also had been the first disciple to be martyred for his faith.

The second observation is that both James and John were full cousins of Jesus and no doubt felt they deserved special recognition. Be that as it may. What also attracted my attention was the different responses Jesus made He asked the two disciples: What do you want me to do for you? To their mother, he asked: What is it that you want?  Both are good questions to ponder.

What do I want? Not always an easy question to answer. While at University, for example, I worked for the Vocational Guidance Service. In those days, it was part of the Governments Education Department. I recall an occasion during my orientation week when invited to sit in with the person to observe how to interview a budding school leaver. After taking down the particulars of the young man, the conversation turned to his thoughts of a possible career. He had no idea what he wanted to do – except to leave school! In the end, he took away a handful of potential career profiles. He could return when he was ready to discuss options.

Knowing what we want out of life, or from another person, or even from ourselves, influences the way we live and make our choices. Knowing what we want is important because it usually opens the door to new possibilities, hopes and dreams.

Then how would you answer the question asked by Jesus: What do you want me to do for you? Or to re-frame the question, What do I expect God to do for me? Do I believe in or expect God to do anything? Or are we responsible with our gifts and experience to sort out a life for ourselves?

We live in an increasingly secular age with high expectations of independence. Yet the question remains: What is it that I want? What do I long for deep inside? Is it always up to me to decide? Or is there an existential answer that would change the whole orientation of my life?

In the Gospel passages, Jesus turns the expectations of the woman and the disciples upside down. His teaching was entirely counter-intuitive: If we want to be great – become a servant. If we desire a place of honour – Take the lowest seat. If we long to know God, then we have to seek. However, God has already found us, so what we seek is already within us.

God's being is in my being.
Wherever I am, there is God.
Meister Eckhart (c1260-c1327)

Kia mau te rongo me te pai ki a koe i to haerenga

May you find peace and goodwill on your journey.

Phil

Siddhartha

Recently I came across an online Symposium on Hermann Hesse's novel 'Siddhartha'. The four contributors were all teachers at various educational institutions in the USA. They had used 'Siddhartha' as part of their Religious Studies curriculum. What piqued my interest to reread the book was their comments on the value they sensed the students had gained from the text. One student told her mother: 'It was the best book she had ever read and that it made her understand life'. I believe the student had grasped the author's intent because the word 'Siddhartha' means 'the one who has found meaning'.

While Hesse wrote Siddhartha in the 1920s, it didn't become popular until the 1960s, and that was when I read it for the first time. The story is set in India in the 6th century BC and is about two friends who search for self-discovery and deep inner peace. Siddhartha's close friend, Govinda, became a disciple of the Buddha. However, Siddhartha decided to be guided by his inner instincts. The story follows Siddhartha's life as he gradually allows moments of self-discovery and success to encroach upon his meditation practice. Which-in-turn, inevitably led to his disillusionment and despair. Finally, fed up with life, he is rescued by the same Ferryman he met near the beginning of his search. The Ferryman encourages Siddhartha to stay with him and to spend his days in silence, listening to the wisdom of the river that flowed past their simple dwelling.

The story ends as it began with Siddhartha and Govinda meeting. They discuss all that they had experienced over the years. His friend sensing that Siddhartha had learnt far more than him, inquires:

'Have you not discovered certain knowledge yourself that has helped you to live?

It would give me great pleasure if you would tell me something about this?' 

 

To which Siddhartha replied:

'Knowledge can be communicated but not wisdom. One can find it, love it, be fortified by it,

do wonders through it, but one cannot communicate and teach it'.

Hesses' book is a story of self-discovery and spiritual awakening. In the Judeo-Christian tradition, we also have many similar stories. I think of Moses meeting God at the burning bush. Elijah hearing God speak as he stood at the front of his cave. Job or Isaiah eyes being opened and seeing the mystery and glory of God. In the New Testament, we have the story of Mary meeting an angel at her annunciation, Jesus hearing the Divine voice at his baptism, and Paul seeing the risen Christ on the road to Damascus. These stories and many others all remind us that the mystery our soul seeks is always 'closer to us than our hands and feet'. We need to learn to follow Lord Tennyson's encouragement to 'Speak to Him, thou, for He hears, and Spirit with Spirit can meet'.

Recently, I have been reflecting on the Gospel stories of the annunciation of Mary and the baptism of Jesus. I sense an inner similarity between them and Siddhartha finally experiencing the interconnection of all creation and sharing that gift with his friend. Words in all these moments were inadequate.

As I look back over a lifetime's experience of the Church, I sense our religious heritage carries a similar inner tension that lies behind Hesse's story. It's finding the balance between theology and spirituality. The former encourages knowledge based on words and ideas taught through books and lectures that can easily lead to a sense of self-satisfaction. Spirituality is different. We are no longer in the driving seat because it is about learning to experience an intuitive awareness and an inclusive knowing that transcends the barriers of time and space. The contemporary author, Thomas Moore, wrote something similar:

'Religion is about transcending, going beyond. It's more a verb than a noun. The point is not to find something but to breakthrough... it's about being in tune with something incomprehensibly larger than (oneself that) tears open an otherwise closed cosmos.'

Kia mau te rongo me te pai ki a koe i to haerenga

May you find peace and goodwill on your journey.

Phil

____________

A Symposium On Hermann Hesse’s Siddhartha http://www.asianstudies.org/wp-content/uploads/symposium-on-herman-hesse-siddhartha.pdf

Hesse, H, Siddhartha: A Novel, ‎ Bantam (January 1, 1982), Hilda Rosner (Translator).

Thomas Moore, A Religion of One's Own: A Guide to Creating a Personal Spirituality in a Secular World  ‎ Avery; Reprint edition (January 6, 2015)

Nothing to Do - Except be Present

 One of the sayings I recall from my time on a three month Buddhist Retreat was the teacher saying "When will you wake up and realise there is nothing you have to do!"

At the time it didn't make a lot of sense. We were busy trying to remember all that the teacher had told us, including the meditation exercises set at the end of each day's class.

Christianity is not so different to my Buddhist Retreat. It is also full of suggestions and directives. A common saying is, 'Love your neighbour as yourself'. Sounds very simple, doesn't it. How well do I - how well do you - fulfil that simple saying let alone learning to love a God we can't see?

Sometimes, I think we make our spiritual/religious life far more complicated than it needs to be. Saint Teresa of Avila wrote something very similar to the above quotation by the Buddhist teacher. In her book, The Interior Castle, Teresa made a distinction between trying to develop a spiritual practice in the hope of finding God; and the realisation that what we seek has already found us! She said that the Divine Presence is already within us. There is nothing we need to do, nowhere we need to go, nothing we need to say - except wake up and realise and experience this divine mystery.

Teresa compared this discovery, this realisation, to trying to fill a jug with water from a faraway spring. At first, a person may put a lot of effort into walking back and forth to the spring with a bucket. This would be like us seeking out a church or a Spiritual Counsellor/minister/priest who might be able to help us with our spiritual search. Or joining programmes like 'Alpha' in the hope it would help us experience God's grace and presence.

Alternatively, we may think that if God is everywhere, shouldn't I be able to find God in my own home? So we may try various spiritual exercises, or meditation techniques, or read books in the hope of finding God. St Teresa compares this to the realisation that if we built our own pipeline to God it would save us a lot of time and effort.

Both of these approaches have their place. I know I have spent a lot of time and money on books, courses, retreats and study programmes.

However, St.Teresa also reminds us, that in reality, we have nowhere we need to go. There is nothing we need to do. No special effort is required for our souls to be filled and overflowing with spiritual delight.

We simply need to learn to rest in openness and expectation and learn to perceive the gift of Divine love that is already residing within every cell of our bodies. And there is our challenge. We all have an ego that loves to be in charge of our lives.

'Be Still and Know that I am God', wrote a Jewish mystic many centuries ago. The knowledge spoken of is not intellectual ego-centred knowledge. Rather it is about learning to let go and developing a gut-centred awareness, that deep within, each one of us is already part of the Divine mystery and beauty of our Universe. 

When will we wake up and realise and experience this simple truth? When we learn to realise there is nothing we need to do - except be present to the Divine life within us and all around us. 

Kia mau te rongo me te pai ki a koe i to haerenga

May you find peace and good will on your journey.

Phil

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Avila, St. Teresa of, The Interior Castle, Ch 4 para 2,3

Easter - the Celebration of New Life

I wonder how you will spend (or have been spending) Easter this year. Three days of public holiday offer us lots of possibilities, even in our COVID-world! Some of you may even spend some of the weekend attending religious services. We did last night as we shared in the Celebration of the Last Supper. But, however you approach, understand or enter into the Easter event, at its heart, it is always pure drama. Traditionally it involved a three-part liturgical mystery play: the celebration of the Last Supper of Jesus with his disciples; Jesus' arrest, trial and crucifixion; and concluded with the celebration of Jesus' resurrection.

Some Christians believe they are celebrating actual historical events. Certainly, it can be presented as such. Yet for me, it is not actual historical events we are remembering, because we are relying on ancient texts that have their own story of evolution. By the time the Gospels were written the authors were living in quite different circumstances from that of Jesus and his disciples. Inevitably this influenced the way they chose to tell their stories. They emphasised what was relevant to their new situation while minimising or leaving out all together what was no longer relevant. So what we have now and what we celebrate liturgically, are stories of faith rather than descriptions of actual historical events.

This means for me, the biblical stories are like 'fingers pointing to the moon', as referred to in my last blog. Rather than reliable stories of historical events, the truth behind the story of the Resurrection (or the Ascension - or even the Assumption of Mary for that matter) is that at some point we have to let them go. 'Do not cling to me!' Jesus said to Mary in the Garden of the tomb (John 20:17). A similar instruction is found in Acts 1:9-11 after Jesus' Ascension. The disciples are told to get on with their lives rather than emotionally clinging to Jesus as they gazed heaven-ward.

Life is about living, and at some point, we all have to learn to let go and live in the moment - as hard as that may be. If we don't, we end up suffocating the things we cling to with our ideas rather than directly experiencing the Divine life that was reflected in them and is now is there to be found in the core of our being.

Teresa of Avila, for example, knew that the mysteries of life and of faith contain something far greater than we may ever understand. She believed we need to let go of an insatiable demand to understand or know intellectually and begin to learn and understand in a more intuitive soulful way. It is as we learn to do this, we begin to participate in the mystery that life and faith and divinity have to offer us.

Kia mau te rongo me te pai ki a koe i to haerenga

May you find peace and goodwill on your journey.

Phil

Fingers Pointing To The Moon

In 2003 I had the opportunity to leave my comfortable rural Anglican Parish in a corner of the Christchurch Diocese, New Zealand, to attend a three-month Buddhist retreat at Wangapeka Study and Retreat Centre, sponsored by my Church. I wasn't sure who was most surprised to have the study grant approved, me, or my bishop!

Those three months gave me a new appreciation of how spiritual Truth is always bigger than the particular religious or philosophical lens we use to look at and understand the world in which we live.

The Buddhist teacher who led the retreat, Tarchin Hearn, used many tools in his teaching and introduced me to a new and inclusive way of seeing and understanding both my faith and beliefs as well as a new appreciation of the world in which we live. Understandably, I returned to spend the following year living and working at the Retreat Centre then some years later returned again as the Land Care-taker for 6 months.

One of the teaching tools Tarchin used was his telescope. I remember the first time I looked through it at the full moon. It was one of those total awe-inspiring moments as I saw the moon-craters clearly for the first time! Then he told the story he told the Buddhist story of a nun who once asked her teacher to help her understand something she had read that had puzzled her for many years. The teacher told her she would have to read the passage to him because he had never learnt to read. The nun was taken back and wondered how he could hope to understand the meaning if he could not read the words? To which the teacher responded:
"Truth has nothing to do with words. Truth can be likened to the bright moon in the sky. Words, in this case, can be likened to a finger. The finger can point to the moon’s location. However, the finger is not the moon. To look at the moon, it is necessary to gaze beyond the finger." (1)

I believe the same principle applies to my faith as a Christian. For me, the question is not, 'Is this historically true?' when I read something in the Bible, for example, but 'What happens in my mind and heart when I imagine this to be true?'

The truth Jesus taught was a finger pointing to something far greater than the words recorded in our Bibles. The words are like pointing fingers. As long as we focus on the words we will never find the truth they point towards. As mentioned in my last blog, we need to learn to approach God with our heart-mind not just our thinking-mind if we wish to discover the awe-inspiring love and presence of Divine love. A love that shines far brighter than the moon and will guide us to discover first-hand the eternal inspiration and embrace of God.

Kia mau te rongo me te pai ki a koe i to haerenga
May you find peace and goodwill on your journey.

Phil
__________

(1). The Meaning of the Finger Pointing to the Moon - Tu An Temple (google.com) .

Tarchin Hearn Web Library: Green Dharma Treasury – The web-library of Tarchin Hearn https://greendharmatreasury.org

Wangapeka Retreat Centre:https://wangapeka.org