When Relationships Go Wrong (Mark 10:2-16)

There is a romantic side to most people when entering into a committed relationship. They imagine their marriage will last forever. Yet last year (2020), 7,707 couples were granted divorces in New Zealand.1 I mention this because the Gospel reading for this Sunday (3 October) discusses the sensitive topic of divorce (Mark 10:2-16).

One of the joys of Parish ministry is the delight of meeting with couples and the privilege of taking their wedding service. However, it also provides cause for reflection, when later I discover the excitement and commitment promised on that day did not survive the challenges that lay ahead for them. This situation is not new, as we learn from this Sunday Gospel reading. Divorce was a critical issue when Jesus lived as it was in the 7th century BCE when the Deuteronomic Code was composed. However, it is clear from the Gospel reading, the Jewish authorities were not interested in divorce per se. They wanted to see whose side Jesus supported. Was it legal for a man to divorce his wife? They knew the law – but did Jesus agree with it? Jesus wisely sidesteps their question. Instead, he points to the hope that most couples hold when making their commitment to each other. They trust that their relationship will last.

In contrast to the academic and critical game-playing of the Pharisees, Jesus was more interested in the dignity all people have in the sight of God. Especially women and children who had few rights under Jewish law. A man, for example, could divorce his wife for almost any contrived reason, leaving her and the children destitute with little or no support. Jesus reminds his disciples it is not by age or social standing, nor by learning or skillful argument that we enter God's domain. Rather, it is through an openness of heart and mind that allows us to see and experience the presence of the Divine in each moment of our life. And to draw on that divine support to help us face and often resolve the issues life throws at us. In the process, we discover that the eyes, mind and wisdom of the Divine, are already dwelling within us.

One of the tools I often used with couples to help them access this inner wisdom was the work of a Canadian Psychiatrist, Eric Berne. Initially developed during the 1950s and 1960s, he provided a way to explain, predict and change our patterns of responding to situations. Learnt often unconsciously, they continue to influence how we act, think and feel. Berne divided them into three ego states he called Parent, Adult and Child. Their influence depends on experience. They may provide wisdom, insight, spontaneity and knowledge to face the challenges and decisions that life throws at us, for example. Or their dark side may contain the remembered criticisms and manipulations that taught us the world was not a good or safe place for us. However, Berne's approach reminds us we still have a choice, as hard or delightful as that may be. To quote Aesop's Fables: “Be careful what you wish for, lest it comes true!”

With all this in mind, we consider the human dynamics involved in this week's Gospel reading.The Pharisees come with their childish game and two-edged question to show the crowd how irresponsible (or ignorant) Jesus was and how clever and wise they are, forgetting whenever we point the finger at someone, three fingers always point back at you.  Jesus remains calm. He ignores their barb and responds with his mature insight and wisdom. Later the Disciples question Jesus in quite a different manner to the Pharisees, and the episode concludes with Jesus quoting a curious and often misquoted maxim from Malachi 2:10-17.2 

I say curious, because the author of Malachi compares Judah's covenant with God to a marriage relationship that the people of Judah have broken through their faithlessness and apostasy. Baptism would be our Christian equivalent to this situation rather than marriage. In Baptism, “we are made children of God, members of Christ’s body the Church, and heirs of the Kingdom of God... we enter the new Covenant, and experience the renewing spirit of God. 3. A view supported by the closing paragraph of this Sunday's Gospel when parents bring their children to Jesus and Jesus responds with the wisdom, loving care and blessing that our soul also long for:

“Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs... And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.

Kia mau te rongo me te pai ki a koe i to haerenga
May you find peace and good will on your journey.

Phil

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1 https://www.stats.govt.nz/

2 “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her;  and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery” (Mark 10:11-12). This maxim better reflects the legal situation in the Markan Church. It also reflects familiarity with Roman rather than Israelite marriage law.

3 A NZ Prayer Book p 933 https://anglicanprayerbook.nz/925.html

Water & Salt (Mark 9:38-50)

Whoever gives you a cup of water to drink …

will not lose their reward.

Mark 9:41

Water has always been vital to our everyday life and the key to our survival as a human race. For this reason alone, it holds the potential to become a strategic, political and humanitarian issue with its ability to affect world peace1. This is not new. Even the Bible refers to the importance of water 722 times – more often than the core Christian values of faith, hope, prayer, and worship! Matthew 25, for example, suggests we will be held to account based on the way we have used and shared our resources of food, water, clothing and companionship with those in need. So water was already a religious and political issue in Jesus' day.

The part of the world where Jesus lived had little rain for six months of the year. This meant people had to rely on a natural water supply such as the river Jordan or a natural spring. Local dug wells are also mentioned in the Bible. So too are underground cisterns, built beneath the homes of the wealthy, that relied on the spring rains to fill them. In contrast, the poor and destitute had to rely on travelling to a local well. If you have had to carry a bucket full of water, you will know how heavy water is. No wonder the words of Isaiah 55v1 held so much appeal to those who struggled home with their heavy water containers:

Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters;

and you who have no money, come... without cost.

Another thing that interested me about this Sunday's Gospel (Mark 9:38-50) was the reference to another naturally occurring and vital life-giving resource:

“Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again?

Have salt among yourselves, and be at peace with each other.”

We are well aware that water can become polluted and dangerous to drink. Salt also can lose its flavour of 'saltiness' when it is confused or polluted with other similar looking compounds that don't have the same life-giving effect or taste. How does this analogy relate to being at peace with each other?

To help answer that question, I found Mahatma Gandhi's article “What Jesus means to me” helpful. In the article, Gandhi refers to the non-violent protest march against the British imposed salt tax that prohibited Indians from collecting or selling salt. Instead, they had to buy salt at an inflated price from their British rulers. The most affected people were the poorest of the poor. The non-violent Salt March of 1930 began a movement that ultimately led to India gaining independence from British oppression. Similarly, Jesus' reference to both water and salt were highly political comments against the oppression of the poor in his day. To give a cup of water to those in need, free of charge, was a political challenge to those who were oppressing the rights of the poor.

While you might feel this is a misuse of Mark's passage, Mahatma Gandhi often referred to the Sermon on the Mount. Within that collation of sayings, Jesus refers to his listeners as being “the salt of the earth”2. Our purpose, as people of faith, who seek to follow in the footsteps of Jesus, is to make a difference. And just as salt and water are vital to life and good health, Gandhi reminded us that we are not to just listen to what Jesus said, we are to live his words into reality as we bring new life and vitality to the communities in which we live. If, for example, we “loved our neighbour as ourselves” all day and every day, what a different place our world might be. We would then 'live in peace amongst ourselves' as Gandhi – and Jesus – hoped and longed for:

For a bowl of water give a goody meal;

For a kindly greeting bow thou down with zeal;

For a simple penny pay thou back with gold;

If thy life be rescued, life do not withhold.

Thus the words and actions of the wise regard;

Every little service tenfold they reward.

But the truly noble know all are one,

And return with gladness good for evil done.3

Kia mau te rongo me te pai ki a koe i to haerenga

May you find peace and goodwill on your journey.

Phil

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1 https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20170615-why-hydro-politics-will-shape-the-21st-century

2 Matthew 5:13

3 Gandhi, An Autobiography, 32-33. Penguin Books Ltd. 1915.

Compassion in Response to Violence (Mark 9: 30-37)

September is a significant month for several reasons. This past week we remembered the coordinated terrorist attacks against the United States of America on the 11th of September, 2001. Then on Sunday the 19th of September, the Anglican Communion has Battle of Britain Sunday, to remember the largest and most concentrated attack launched by the Luftwaffe against London on the15th September, 1940. In New Zealand, we also remember Suffrage Day on that same Sunday because we became the first self-governing country where women could vote in parliamentary elections. While we may take that particular battle for equality for granted, we do so in the context of what is unfolding for the women in Afghanistan. They face rising levels of domestic violence, abuse and exploitation under Taliban control.

Violence also forms the backdrop for the Gospel reading this Sunday (Mark 9: 30-37). Jesus contemplates the inevitability of his torture and death because he dared to challenge the religious and State powers for the violence and atrocities they were committing against anyone who challenged them. However, Jesus never returned fear with fear or violence with violence. Instead, he taught a way of personal and social transformation through the practice of radical compassion. Frank Rogers gives us a contemporary and practical illustration of this way of responding in his book, 'Practicing Compassion in a Violent World'.1 Compassion, he says, has a two-way interaction. 

 

“It not only restores the heart of our own humanity

 – its healing care restores the heart of another that has grown hard and cold”

 

To illustrate this, Rogers recounts a story about a man whose wife of 45 years died suddenly in her sleep. The man was grief-stricken. He finally decided he needed to do something. Because his wife loved roses, he would plant a beautiful memorial rose garden in front of his house. You can imagine his horror when he discovered someone had vandalised several of the rose bushes. So he kept watch, and several days later, he saw a local boy from a neighbouring gang stop and slashed another rose bush with a stick. Instinctively the man wanted to return the boy's violence with violence. Then, he realised he had a choice. He knew the family and knew the boy had a bleak future. He could report him to the police – but he decided instead to do something radically proactive. The next time the boy passed, he went out and asked him for his help. He needed someone to keep watch over his roses because someone was damaging them. He also needed help with his vegetable garden and was willing to pay the boy for his time.

The boy did come back, and the damage to the rose bushes stopped. The lad also provided valuable help and companionship for the man. When he was a little older, he started an inner-city youth programme to provide an alternative to gang life.

To do something radically proactive in the face of violence requires courage. It is also a spiritual path. One that begins when we know we are held, healed and empowered by the sacred presence of God's Compassion, irrespective of our failures and imperfections. Choosing to live a compassionate way of life will provide meaning and purpose to our lives. It begins when we allow God's love to flow through us in some practical and proactive way. We will also find ourselves participating in God's healing presence in our world. And the Gospel reading for this Sunday demonstrates this principle in action.

Jesus warned his disciples his life was in danger. Their response was one of fear. What would happen to them? They had left everything to follow him. However, they were afraid to voice those fears to Jesus, so they turned inward and argued with one another. Jesus never told them off or criticised them. He sat down and talked to them about their fears and concerns for the future. Then to illustrate his meaning he pointed to a child playing nearby and said: “Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes not me but the one who sent me.” Or, to quote a similar Sufi saying:

When the mystery of God is revealed to you,

you will understand that God has always been in you....

Then you will see all your actions to be His actions

and your essence to be His essence....

There is nothing except His Face, and "whithersoever you turn,

there you will see the Face of God."

Kia mau te rongo me te pai ki a koe i to haerenga

May you find peace and good will on your journey.

Phil

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1Frank Rogers, Jr. Compassion in Practice: The Way of Jesus,‎ Upper Room Books, 2016 Frank Rogers is Professor of Spiritual Formation and Narrative Pedagogy and the co-director of the Center for Engaged Compassion. His teaching focuses on spiritual formation that is contemplative, creative, and socially liberative.

How important is our Christian Faith? (Mark 8:27-38)

I grew up in New Zealand, in a time when the churches were full on Sundays and the shops were closed. Yet over the years, I have watched our country change. The former Presbyterian theologian, Lloyd Geering, made a similar observation more than 20 years ago:

What are we witnessing? Not the death of spirituality, not the death of belief, not the death of meaning, but the death of religious institutions, the death of organised religion, the erosion of Christianity's historical core, its hold on the heart of the West... It is the death of Christendom 1

It is the reference to 'the death of organised religion' that caught my attention because I have been part of the Church for the whole of my life. My father was an Anglican Vicar, and I followed in his footsteps along with two of my brothers. However, I have also noticed a slow decline in Church attendance during my ministry. There have been many reasons: The advent of sport on Sunday mornings; the stand the Church made against the Springbok Rugby tour in 1981 that resulted in a lot of ill-feeling among some parishioners. As one parishioner said to me: 'You will not see me in Church again because the Church has no right to stop me from enjoying my Rugby'. Then in 1990, our retail laws changed to allow Sunday trading. The impact of political decisions on religious practice is not new. It even occurs in the Gospel reading for this Sunday which comes from Mark 8:27-38.

Jesus was aware political opposition towards him was increasing. So he reminded his listeners about the cost of discipleship. Anyone who wanted to be his follower would ultimately 'lose their life'. Taken at face value, they are challenging words. In a way, he could foresee his death, but his words also applied to what was happening in the early Church when the Gospel of Mark was written. They apply to us as well, and cause us to ponder: 'What does it mean to be a Christian in our day and age?' Should my values and faith influence my political choices? And to what degree should politics affect the way I express my beliefs and faith?

The Gospel reading also reminds us, that the values Jesus stood for were for justice, compassion and peace and he was quite prepared to challenge those in political and religious leadership regardless of the cost. It also reminds us when we take a similar kind of stance to Jesus, we also take a risk.

The reason being is that Jesus and the religious and political powers of his day represented two different sets of values. Jesus valued compassion, beauty and truth, and these values found their fulfilment in what he called the kingdom of God. We see another set of values reflected in every self-seeking political power system in history. When we decided to take a stand for the values Jesus promoted, we also take a risk that remains as valid today as it was when St Paul wrote to Timothy: 

'Indeed, all who wish to live God-loving lives in Jesus Christ will suffer persecution'.2

So what does it mean to be a Christian? How do we keep our faith alive? Can Religion and Politics mix? I find living a God-centred life is like any other valuable relationship we may have in our life – it is a daily practice. The Jewish-Christian tradition reminds us that the whole of creation is already God-created and God-breathed. Every person, animal and plant carries the Divine life-giving breath within it. Sometimes we may catch a glimpse of this in the beauty of a sunrise or sunset or when we witness a new birth. Or when listening to a piece of music that captures our attention and wraps itself around us, carrying us within its melody. What we may lack is the constant awareness of this Divine Life-giving Presence.

If we see this way of living as something we long for then how do we foster that awareness? Jesus gave us the answer in many of his parables. It grows and flourishes within us as we begin to want it, look for it and value it. Jesus spent a lot of time outdoors. Perhaps following his example and spending time in creation may be the easiest place to start, because nature is not complicated by other people's ideas. Then we may begin to look for glimmers of the same Divine energy shining in the life and life-giving actions of other people. Then one day, we may discover the same life-fulfilling presence deep within ourselves. Enriching and delighting us with peace, love, and joy; faith and faithfulness, hope and self-giving to others. Qualities that are all windows and doorways into the Divine Mystery that is already surrounding and enriching our lives. As St Mother Teresa of Calcutta once said:

Seek the face of God in everything, everyone, all the time, and the Divine hand in every happening;This is what it means to be contemplative in the heart of the world.3

Kia mau te rongo me te pai ki a koe i to haerenga

May you find peace and good will on your journey.

Phil

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1 Ward, K, Religion in a Postaquarian Age, https://www.presbyterian.org.nz/about-us/research-resources/research-papers/religion-in-a-postaquarian-age#_ftnref1

2 2 Timothy 3:12

3 St Mother Teresa of Calcutta.https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/252963-seeking-the-face-of-god-in-everything-everyone-all-the